Courtin' in the Kitchenby trad
Don’t [G] ever fall in love, ‘tis the [C] divil’s own in- [D7] vention.
For [G] once I fell in love with a damsel most bewitchin’
Miss [C] Henrietta [Am] Bell, down in [A7] Captain Kelly’s [D] kitchen
With me [G] toora loora lay, me toora loora [D] laddie
Sing [G] toora loora [Em] lay, [D] toora loora [G] laddie.)
At the age of seventeen, I was ‘prenticed to a grocer
Not far from Stephen’s Green, where Miss Henri’ used to go, sir
Her manners were so fine, she set me heart a-twitchin’
She asked me-self to tea, down in Captain Kelly’s kitchen.
Next Sunday bein’ the day we were to have the flare-up
I dressed myself quite gay, an’ I frizzed and oiled my hair up
The Captain had no wife, and he’d gone off a-fishin’
So we kicked up the high life, out of sight down in the kitchen.
Just as the clock struck six we sat down to the table
She served me tea and cakes and I ate what I was able,
I had cakes with punch and tay, till me side it got a stitch in
And the time it passed away, while we was coortin’ in the kitchen.
With me arms around her waist, I kissed... she hinted marriage
When through the door in haste we heard Captain Kelly’s carriage!
Her eyes told me full well that moment she was wishin’
That I’d go straight to Hell, or be somewhere from that kitchen.
She flew up off my knees, full seven feet or higher
And over heads and heels, threw me slap into the fire
My new Repealers coat, that I’d bought from Mr. Mitchel
With a twenty shilling note, went to blazes in the kitchen.
I grieved to see me duds, all smeared with smoke and ashes
When a tub of dirty suds, right into me face she dashes.
As I lay upon the floor, still the water she kept pitchin’
Till the footman broke the door, and cam chargin’ in the kitchen.
When the Captain came downstairs, though he seen me situation
In spite of all my prayers I was marched off to the station
For me they’d take no bail, though to get home I was itchin’
And I had to tell the tale of how I got into that kitchen.
I said she did invite me, but she gave a flat denial
For assault she did indict me, and meself was sent for trial.
She swore I robbed the house, in spite of all her screechin’
And I got six months hard, for me coortin’ in the kitchen.